i made it three weeks without any contact with him. but today i called him. i really wasnt expecting him to answer. i was hoping to hear his voice on voicemail. but he answered. hello. it felt so wonderful to hear his deep voice. i cried and he asked what was wrong. i told him just about everything. see i dont feel like myself without you. im trying to keep going and acting like im cool with everything that happened but i feel like im losing myself. i told him i missed him. he says he misses me too. he said he thought idve found another guy by now. text me, he says. yea right. im not that crazy. so i got to hear his voice. and listen to him breathe for ten whole minutes on the phone. and it was heaven. it felt like home. but now its over and im just sitting in my near empty apartment. with all my boxes. about to move in with another man. a man that has the strongest love for me ive ever seen. but one i dont even begin to understand or reciprocate.
ive just got to keep it together until he comes back. god i feel so alone and fake.
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