summer for real this time!

im in my last week of school eeekk!! i am working on getting a job at johnny carinos as a server. tomorrow is my 2nd interview so i think that means they want to hire me.

right now im missing mathew more than anything :( he has been so extremely sweet and loving lately i couldnt ask for more in a lover. however he is soooo poor. and also bad with money. i scrimp and save so that i have money for gas to drive home and see him. meanwhile he buys fastfood several times a week and a carton of ciggs and usually an eighth (60$$$ weed). what the fuck!! sometimes he tries to help me with gas but really im just annoyed at how he spends his money. he needs to learn to save and hold back and finish building his damn car!!! i try to tell myself that im not in charge of his life but now that we are starting to be a bigger part in each others lives im like okay matty boy grow up now :) learn how money works baby!

another issue: i seem to have a crush on my dealer gabe and apparently he has a crush on me! i heard this from another friend whom i beleive is a very reliable source. we have hung out alone and it was cute and all but im not sure if im that physically attracted to him but there is just something about him. ive never really had an interest in anyone like him before so its new and strange. i hope nothing comes of it. just a lovely crush and lots of green!!

good news: i realized that my savings account no longer has a minimum balance so that 200$ that was in there just became available!! and ive been thinking i deserve a treat so i might buy a hundred dollar swim suit from victoria secret. i know!!! its expensive but its so lovely and purple and i want it and its on sale from 150 so maybe its meant to be!! also im getting a job so i will no longer be broke.

also i bought groceries today so im sooo happy. food is a luxury :) i cant wait to make money!! put the cash in my pocket omg i hope i like waitressing!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) advice is always welcome. miss you both.