julie sucks

here i am updating my blog again whilst julie has not even graced us with updates from her euro trip.

im going to cali next saturday! im so excited! definitely expect to see lots of fun pictures on facebook! im going with my mom and sister to meet up with more of my family for a make shift reunion. i am hoping i will become a sun goddess and return wit ha fabulous tan. it would also be so cool to visit a 'dispensary'. hahaha i want some medicine. i also plan to read plenty of books and trashy magazines.

matt is flying to az on saturday. im going to see him this wednesday and hang out thursday. maybe it will be the last time i see him. im not sure. im scared to go back and see him. i thought i loved him sooo much but these past two weeks im kind of like yeaaa..... you must not love me that much bc he hardly tries. and his being retarted isnt really a good excuse.

also last friday i had another shroom trip yay! it was super fun and beautiful but hten i puked a lot and my brain kind of turned on me.

i think i love gary still. we have hung out a couple times in the past two weeks. its sexy how accomplished he is. and hes been working out and looks healthy :) so have i actually. i hope i look sexy in bikini on da beach!!!!!

work is good i love making money it is so rewarding. i only wish i made more so i could actually buy something with it instead of saving it all for rent. fuck rent. its expensive.

i miss you both and i am looking forward to the baby shower in the distant future. hope all is well with you both. even though julie sucks.

i mailed matts painting and he said it was awesome. he is not very romantic.

my life is in desperate need of update

because soooo much has changed! so quickly! and im handling it so well suprisingly.

matt and i got into a major fight last last friday bc i found some internet dating websites and porn on his computer history. okay like a LOT of both and when i asked him about it he lied. and was a dick. so i told him i didnt want to be together anymore and i left and drove back to cs. and cried a lot. and then a week later he texts me that he is moving back to arizona and will miss me desperately bc he loves me but that he will be back to do the right thing. sadest news ever :(. but also a possibly good move for our relationship. i. e. he comes back to tx with a car $ and lisence and sweeps me off my feet and we no longer have any problems, EVER <3.

hahaha it sounds ridiculous to type it out but i guess that is kind of the fairy tale i have in my head. so to add to the romance i finished his painting for him and wrote this on the back
' to the most gentle badass, i love you, come back for me, make my dreams cum true. '
and i sent it off in the mail! hopefully he will take it with him and love it and remember me and be back for me! but if not then he has a painting he can keep forever to remind him of the spectacular girl he left behind!

ON ANOTHER NOTE!!!!

gabe kissed me last night. and it was sweet i kind of liked it. i would never want to date him. but im single now soooo a little kissy practice cant hurt right? well anywho i am off to my job at carinos!

julie how was your adventure?
nat quit watching dexter and update hahaha hope your new job is cool