JOB-8 am johnny carinos! i hope this job doesnt suck. i hope im good at waiting tables. i hope i make a lot of money. i will keep you updated how this new endeavor works out for me.
BOYFRIEND- uhhhhh so sick of the distance. so sick of dating a manly man. im not sure if im making the right decision staying with mathew. i think i need too much from him than he is able to give. late at night when im feeling weird and alone i think i should be able to call my boyfriend and find some comfort and reassurance. right? but instead he tells me that i need it all the time and he cant keep up. i dont think im that needy. i fucking live two hours away right? how much could i really be draining from him?
FAMILY- i am not close to my family really. they dont know that i am a huge stoner hippie. and that really is who i am.
APARTMENT- i have been stalking craigslist for days now trying to find the right furniture for my new apartment that i move into aug 21st!! but sadly ive come up empty handed so far but i mean i have allll summer so im bound to find something.
SELF ESTEEM- lately ive felt horrible about myself. not thin enough. fat legs. not cool enough. i hate it. and mathew does nothing to help me out. i swear ive called him sexy like three times in the past week. he tells me occasionally that i look cute or something like that in passing but he has never made me feel like i am the most beautiful girl in the world. neither in face or body. i will never forget that he said he wouldnt mind if i lost 30 lbs. wouldnt mind?!?! uhhh whatever. i know im pretty enough but sometimes i wish i were someone else.
SCHOOL- feels weird not to be in school. my brain is going to turn on me soon i know it. i hope i take summer II history but im not sure i want to see how my job works out.\
julie i hope your having a blast in amsterdam. you better be munching down some mad brownies.
natalie i cant wait to see you and your big belly. hope all is well with your little family!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment